Before We Were Strangers

Before We Were Strangers (2015) is a contemporary romance novel by American author Renée Carlino. The novel traces Matt Shore and Grace Starr’s intense romance from college through mid-life. When Matt and Grace graduate from NYU, they’re forced apart on separate vocational paths. Fifteen years later, they run into each other again and wonder if life might give them a second chance. The novel is written from Matt’s and Grace’s alternating first-person points of view and explores themes such as The Enduring Impact of First Love, Artistic Passion as a Source of Bonding, and the Journey Toward Change, Fulfillment, and Reconciliation.

Carlino is a screenwriter and USA Today best-selling romance novelist. Before We Were Strangers was her debut novel, followed by the titles Swear On This Life, Wish You Were Here, Sweet Thing, Nowhere But Here, Lucian Divine, After the Rain, The Last Post, Shopping For Love, Blind Kiss, and most recently, This Used to Be Us. Julia Stiles’s film adaptation of Wish You Were Here is forthcoming in 2025.

This guide uses the 2015 Atria Books paperback edition.

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of cursing, sexual content, substance use, addiction, illness, and death. 

Plot Summary

Matt Shore is working at National Geographic’s office in New York City. He’s been a photographer for the magazine since he finished college but work doesn’t feel satisfying lately. He sits in his cubicle one day and reflects on his decision to leave the field and move back to the city. New York has changed and he feels dissatisfied with everything in his life.

Matt’s coworker Scott invites him out for lunch. On their way to the restaurant, Matt is shocked when he sees his first love, Grace Starr, on the subway platform. He calls out to her but she boards the train and disappears.

Over the following days, Matt tries to track down Grace. He can’t find her anywhere online and doesn’t see her on the train again. Scott suggests that he post a Missed Connections ad on Craigslist if he’s serious about finding her. Matt takes his advice and posts a public letter to Grace describing their college relationship, their subway encounter, and his desire to reconnect.

The narrative shifts into the past and describes Grace and Matt’s relationship 15 years prior.

Matt doesn’t know anyone in New York when he transfers from USC to NYU. He’s thrilled to meet Grace, the girl living next door to him at his Senior House dorm. The two immediately connect over their shared artistic passions: Grace plays cello and Matt is studying photography. Over the following weeks, they start spending all of their time together. They become close friends but never act on their obvious romantic and sexual feelings for each other. Grace explains that she’s a virgin and has never prioritized dating. Matt is understanding and doesn’t push her to be intimate; he just wants to be around her.

The months pass and Grace and Matt become increasingly intimate. Finally, they decide to have sex. The experience changes Grace’s outlook. She realizes how comfortable Matt makes her feel. Matt, meanwhile, is convinced he’s in love with Grace.

For the rest of the year, Grace and Matt’s relationship continues to grow. However, they’re both preparing for graduation and don’t know what the future will hold for them. Matt has an upcoming National Geographic internship in South America and is leaving the city after the year ends. Grace got into graduate school and hopes that staying at NYU will mean she and Matt can continue dating when he returns from his trip. Grace’s best friend, Tatiana, thinks Grace is making a mistake putting her life on hold for Matt. She urges Grace to go overseas with her and their professor’s traveling orchestra instead. No matter what happens, both Grace and Matt hope they won’t lose touch.

After Matt leaves New York, Grace tries to stay busy. She misses Matt and longs for him to call. He only calls once, and the conversation is brief. Then she learns from a photography magazine that he might be working with his mentor Liz Hunt for the long haul. She calls Matt’s mom, who informs her Matt has regular access to a phone. Convinced Matt is moving on, a heartbroken Grace decides to go overseas with Tatiana.

The narrative shifts back into the present.

Grace is teaching music at a school in Manhattan. One day, one of her students shows her Matt’s Missed Connections post, convinced the letter-writer is talking about her. Shocked, Grace shows the letter to Tatiana. Tatiana insists that Grace call Matt.

Grace and Matt reconnect and start spending time together. They reminisce about their past and fill each other in on everything that has happened since they parted. Matt is shocked when he learns that Grace repeatedly tried to get in touch with him, and Grace is surprised to learn that Matt came back to New York to find her when she was overseas.

Not long later, Matt discovers that his now ex-wife Liz intercepted Grace’s letters and told Grace to stop contacting him. He goes to Grace, explains what Liz did, and apologizes for abandoning her. The two have sex. Matt wakes up in Grace’s apartment and sees pictures of a little girl that looks strikingly like him. Grace admits that the now-teenager (Ash) is indeed his daughter. A furious Matt storms out.

Matt blames Grace for keeping Ash from him but eventually realizes that she did try to reach him. He starts spending time with Ash, whom he immediately loves. Ash encourages him to forgive Grace. Ash also tells Grace that she and Matt belong together. One night, she arranges a scavenger hunt for her parents that ends at City Hall. Matt proposes and Grace accepts.

In the Epilogue, Ash reflects on her parents’ romance. She is glad they’re together now and feels lucky to be a part of such a loving family.